Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Back to School: Am I Crazy for Doing This?

 eeeeep!!

I'm starting grad school today!

It's been fourteen years since the last time I was a student!

Fourteen years since I had to worry about due dates, research papers, group projects, late night study sessions and so help me, grades!

Fourteen years since I stepped foot onto a college campus.

Fourteen years since I felt pride in what I hold inside of my brain!

I've spent the past couple of days wondering if I can do this again. Do I have it in me to handle three classes, my kids, two blogs and working? I haven't taught in over 8 years, can I even remember what I learned as an undergrad?

What if I'm the oldest person in the classroom? What if my years away from a classroom give me little to use as a frame of reference?

I hope that I do not look like an idiot in front of my professors or my peers. I hope I can contribute to discussions with intelligent thoughts. I hope that I am able to be a valuable member during group projects.

More than anything, I really hope that I am able to be successful as a graduate student.

I never imagined having a Bachelors degree, let alone a Masters. Education wasn't something we discussed in my family. My parents weren't big scholars. They didn't enjoy school, in fact my father had a very rough time with his schooling. They didn't talk to me about going to college or anything post high school really. I just sort of found my way to a university, all the while never really thinking I would succeed.

My education is one of the things I am most proud of in my life. Recieving a masters degree is something that I can not even fathom, even now.

Personally, I have a lot riding on the next two years. It's time I get back into the classroom full-time. While I once doubt my ability to be an effective teacher, I now know I have something to offer children with special needs.

I'm very excited to increase my knowledge of child development, best practices in education and the learning challenges of the special needs population.

In the back of my mind, there is this doubt just tiggling away...I really don't want to let myself down.

For more on my fears about starting graduate school, check out my personal finance blog, The Debt Princess.

No comments:

Post a Comment